After an unbelievably tedious event that made the Eurovision Song Contest seem stylish and edgy, we now know the teams England will look like shit against in the group stage of Euro 2012.
Following terrible Eastern European pop music, Cossack dancing, and speeches from arse-numbingly boring bureaucrats, England’s ball was finally drawn alongside co-hosts Ukraine, Sweden, and France – to the presumable delight of tabloid hacks now wanking themselves into comas at the thought of all the xenophobic headlines they can print about the French.
There was the possibility that England and Ireland would be drawn to face each other in the group stages of the tournament to be held in Poland and Ukraine, but, thankfully it was not to be. Ireland’s manager, Giovanni Trapattoni, said himself that he would prefer not to be matched with England so as to avoid the inevitable hysterically hyped build up; and Trapattoni got his wish, as Ireland were placed in the group containing Spain, Italy, and Croatia.
So, um, good luck with that.
Republic of Ireland
By Peter Simpson