“I WAS at Miami International Airport and in my bag there were enough drugs to kill an elephant and I didn’t have a clue whether they were legal or not. I was a walking junkie,” – Dwain Chambers.
Yes, this is the same walking junkie who pleaded for his drug shame to be forgotten after 
storming to victory in the 60m at the European Indoor Championships in Turin last week.
Chambers ran 6.46, just 0.04 slower than the new European record he set in the semi.
Overall Britain had to settle for a total of four medals, well short of the target of six set by UK Athletics head coach Charles van Commenee in his first event in charge and well adrift of the 10 won two years in Birmingham.
Mo Farah won gold in the 3,000m with the men’s and women’s 4x400m relay teams both winning silver, but as ever Chambers hogged headlines.
“I just hope people let the past be the past now,” said the man currently trying to promote an autobiography based on, well…, the past. “It’s gone on for far too long now. It’s good to get back on the rostrum again and start re-writing my name in the history books for the right reasons.”
Chambers is running faster now than when he was on drugs but insisted eyebrows should not be raised by his performances.
“If you run slow they say you’re rubbish. If you run fast they say you’re on stuff. It shouldn’t be like that. I’m not failing any drug tests. I’m doing it clean.”
Forgive us if we don’t take your word for it, Dwain.
• (FORMERLY) GREAT Britain showed what an absolute shambles they have become in the Davis Cup arena as an Andy Murray-less team suffered an embarrassing 4-1 defeat to the Ukraine in Glasgow before captain John Lloyd said he would allow the tartan twat to pick the surface for Britain’s next match in the hope of persuading the World No 4 to play.
Although we were assured Murray missed last weekend’s tie with a ‘virus’, the British hierarchy feel a need to do everything to persuade the sulky Scot to play a match he should be proud to be selected for. 
The boorish baseliner inevitably took his place in the draw for the BNP Paripas Open in Indian Wells, forcing Lloyd to make the nightmare journey to sun-kissed California (where they clearly don’t have phones) to meet Murray to discuss September’s tie with Poland.
If Murray does not feature in the next tie there is every chance that Britain will find themselves in Group Two of the Euro-African Zone, the competition’s third division, for the first time in 13 years.
There is every reason to have sleepless nights with the leading Polish singles player Lukasz Kubot ranked 182. They also have the twin threat of doubles players Marcin Matkowski and Mariusz Fyrstenberg.
Be afraid, be very afraid.
• IN the part of the tournament reserved for able-bodied grown-ups, Rafael Nadal crushed Serb Novak Djokovic to help send holders Spain into a home last eight clash with Germany, who beat Austria.
Czech Republic upset the much-fancied French and will meet Argentina, who whitewashed the Netherlands. In the other ties, Croatia will host USA and Russia travel to Sweden’s conquerors Israel.
• SOUTH Korean Y.E. Yang made a great Korea move by winning the Honda Classic in Florida by one stroke from American John Rollins to become only the second Korean to win an American tour event.
Yang held his nerve to two-putt from 50-ft at the last for a final-round 68 that left him nine-under. England’s Greg Owen sank six birdies as he finished alongside Rory McIlroy and Sergio Garcia on -2.
• EMOTIONAL sap Jenson Button voiced his fears of being lost to F1 and left with an empty life before the doomed Honda team were saved.
After taking a 50 per cent pay cut, panic Button (right) was quickest on his first morning of testing in Barcelona in the new Brawn GP car.
Button said: “I’m here to race. What would I do sat at home? There’s nothing there for me. I’m 29 years old, still a kid in my eyes, and I’ve still a lot to prove in F1.”
Well, couldn’t you just stay at home shagging supermodels?
LIVING LEGENDS
WILT ‘The Stilt’ Chamberlain – the 7’1″, two-time NBA winner – is regarded as one of the greatest basketball players ever due to his heroics with Philadephia and LA Lakers – and also happens to be the world’s greatest shagger.
Wilt was named MVP for the regular season four times and was the man of the 1972 finals. The center also set records for scoring and rebounding, was the first to average over 50 points in a season and score 100 points in a single NBA game.
Chamberlain was also the game’s first big earner, becoming the first man to earn more than $100K a year, and earning an unprecedented $1.5m during his later years in LA.
This shocked those who met Wilt as a youngster who thought basketball was “for sissies”.
As a nervous, sensitive kid, he felt freakish because of his height and his stutter and left high school a virgin. But the ‘Big Dipper’ made up for lost time.
As lawyer Seymour Goldberg put it: “Some people collect stamps, Wilt collected women.”
He became more famous for his exploits in bed than on court. Friends say he once had 23 women in 10 days and the lifelong bachelor claimed he had sex with 20,000 women in 1991 book ‘A View From Above’.
For this to be true, he would have had to have sex with 1.14 women per day from the age of 15 – almost eight girls a week.
Tough work, but someone’s got to do it. No wonder he died of heart failure.
