Diego-Ing All The Way

LIKE all good Englishmen, we love watching the Argies suffer.
But even we feel slightly sorry for them and their frankly delusional beliefs that Diego Maradona is some sort of tactical genius who can mastermind them to World Cup glory.
Alas, the rest of the world sees him for what he really is.
A moon-sized junkie with the brains of an experimented-on chimp and a perm to match.
“Diego relieves the pressure on us because he generates a lot of passion and draws all the attention,” said Argentina star Martin Demichelis, quite accurately.
“He’s the greatest player of all time and it gives us pride to know he’s our manager. We are ready to have the greatest World Cup.”
Five thousand fans turned up for Argentina’s first open training session in Pretoria, with another 3000 locked out. Unfortunately, most of those locked out wanted to talk to Diego about lack of child support payments.