What would Jesus do? That’s the message we’re frequently told by God-fearing Bible humpers whenever they bother us in crowded shopping centres. Apparently we’re supposed to apply that simple axiom to everyday situations, like when someone wants to cut in front of you in traffic. Or when your best mate’s younger sister is drunk, takes off her knickers and says she wants to sit on your face. What would Jesus do indeed?
Well finally we have the answer to one modern-day WWJD scenario. What would Jesus do if he was kicked out of a darts match?
Well apparently he’d blubber about it to the local press and claim he was bullied by fellow fans like a little girl.
Apparently, when arrows fan Nathan Grindal went to a match involving Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor and Kim Huybrechts in Minehead, his sandals and beard appearance sparked chants of ‘Jesus, Jesus’ from the large and (it’s safe to assume) drunk crowd.
Organisers began to worry it would disturb the players, so Grindal was taken outside by security.
As he left a chant of ‘Stand up if you love Jesus’ broke out with many of the boozed-up crowd getting to their feet.
He had to watch the rest of the televised match at Butlins on a screen.
The labourer, 33, from Abingdon, near Oxford, said he felt ‘discriminated over something he had no control over’.
“I love darts, but I’m worried about ever going to see it live again,” he said. “It was all very weird and distressing. I didn’t break down crying but I did get emotionally distraught.
“They were bullying me and picking on me, saying that I was someone else.”
He added: “I didn’t go to the darts dressed as Jesus – I went as me.”
Takes some balls to accuse the son of God of copying your fashion sense. Maybe he’s not a big jessie after all.
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