ming-the-mercilessTOTAL arsehole Ashley Cole (pictured) will be a Real Madrid player next season, if Spanish keeper Iker Casillas’s comments are anything to go by.

The man who felt getting blowjobs off Cheryl Cole every night wasn’t good enough has, surprisingly, become a hate-figure back in Blighty following his knobjockey antics.
He also texted mates to tell them he hated England and the people. Now Madrid are, apparently, planning a £30million bid for the wantaway shagdaddy.

“From what I am hearing the signs look good,” said blabbermouth Casillas.

“I have only briefly spoken to people at the club but I am confident that he can be a Real Madrid player next year. I think it will be the right move for him both professionally and personally.”

Casillas feels that Cole’s bum-chummy relationship with Jose Mourinho could prove decisive.

“He will know better than anybody this club will be successful under Jose,” said Iker. “Jose has proved he buys players and makes them the very best in the world in their position. With Ashley he doesn’t need to do that because he’s already the best left-back in the world.”
He clearly didn’t pay much attention to England’s World Cup performances.