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When it comes to football injuries, we’ve all winced at pictures of shin bones bending in ways they’re not supposed to. As far as we’re concerned, only porno actresses should be able to contort their legs into such unnatural positions. But spare a thought for Getafe defender Alexis Ruano, whose gruesome injury in a game against Barcelona last month put such bone-bothering antics to shame.
Warning: male readers of a sensitive disposition should stop reading this now.
Ruano was challenging for the ball when (brace yourself) he overstretched and burst some veins in his testicle.
We’ll give our male readers some time to wince and squirm uncomfortably in their seats. Finished? Good.
The 28-year-old was taken away on a stretcher in the 36th minute. Getafe boss Luis Garcia filled everyone in on the gory details after the final whistle.
“Alexis has a testicle like this,” he told reporters while gesturing the size of a ball. “Some veins were broken. When I entered the changing room, I was scared, but it’s not serious. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Sadly, BBM has seen something like it – it was shortly after Cheryl Cole found us hiding in the bushes outside her house and responded by booting us in the bollocks. It was worth it though.
Ruano ‘s injury not the first case of a ruptured ball bag in a game.
Blackburn fans will remember how Scott Dann ruptured one of his sweet meats during a match in December 2011. Disturbingly, he said the incident was “more painful than it sounds”.
“Our physio, Dave Fevre, is very experienced and he’d never seen an injury like it before,” Dann said at the time. “It was not a pretty sight. I overstretched and clashed with the goalkeeper, Ben Foster. I was in severe pain and couldn’t run.”