Anyone reading this who claims they haven’t thought about having sex with one of their partner’s best friends is a filthy liar.
For most people, it’s nothing more than a harmless fantasy, or in BBM’s case, it goes no further than a few strategically placed webcams in the bathroom. Like we said, harmless.
But the friend-banging fantasy came true for David Buchanan, of Fairford in Royal Wootten Bassett, who even got to film his act of infidelity.
Alas, that’s where his tawdry tale turns from dream to nightmare, because the idiot accidentally sent the seedy footage to his long-term girlfriend. And that’s not the punchline.
The “friend” in question, is actually of the four-legged variety. That’s right; he shagged their pet dog, filmed it, then accidentally sent it to his missus.
According to prosecutor Keith Ballinger, the doggy diddler had been at home watching porn and “wondered what it would be like to have sex with the dog”. As you do.
“She was at work on this day and received on her mobile phone a 29-second video clip from a tablet computer,” Mr Ballinger told the court. “That video showed him having sex with their 10-month-old Rhodesian Ridgeback. When arrested he said he knew he had done wrong and it was stupid.”
Dirty David was made to register as a sex offender for seven years with a 12-week suspended sentence for two years, 50 days of rehabilitation, £85 costs and £80 victim surcharge.
At least he didn’t go to jail. The judge must have thrown him a bone. Still, it sounds like there’s a career in the NRL waiting for him if he wants it.

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