We’ve interviewed a fair few people for jobs in our time here at BBM Towers and if we have one piece of advice to prospective employees, it’s that you should make sure you stand out somehow from all the other candidates.
In our case, for example, we usually give the job to the person with the biggest tits. And while some organisations have accused us of blatant sexism as a result of this employment policy, in our defense we judge candidates of both sexes equally by this criteria. Why only last month we hired an obese lad from Sunderland who had the biggest moobs we’ve ever seen.
Admittedly he’s no longer with us, but that’s only because he had a coronary while doing the office Maccas run on a Friday. We never did get that quarter pounder.
But large breasts aside, there are other ways to make sure you create a lasting first impression on a new employer, as a man in San Diego discovered when he turned up to his interview drunk and then stabbed his potential new boss after a scuffle.
When Lopez’s prospective boss tentatively mentioned that he could smell alcohol on the interviewee’s breath, Lopez is alleged to have flown into a rage and launched himself at the other man.
However, it turned out this was not the boss’s first rodeo, and the employer quickly got the better of Lopez and put him in a headlock. Lopez then destroyed what tiny shred of hope he had left of getting the job when he stabbed the boss in the arm, police said.
