Whiplash injuries in Britain soared last month when Steven Gerrard announced his retirement from England duty, leading to a nation shrugging its shoulders.
The red half of Merseyside was cheering of course. The only downside for Liverpool is that he will no longer be able to provide goals for Luis Suarez like he did so effectively last season and at the World Cup.
“I have enjoyed every minute of representing my country and it is a sad day for me knowing that I won’t pull on the England shirt again,” blubbed Gerrard, who amassed 114 caps and 21 goals in a spectacularly underwhelming international career. “This has been a very difficult decision, one of the toughest I’ve had to make in my career. I have agonised over this since coming back from Brazil and have spoken to family, friends and people close to me in the game before coming to this point.
“Most importantly, Brendan [Rodgers] has been fantastic and obviously I have to look after my body as much as possible to ensure I can give everything when I take to the field.
“To ensure I can keep playing to a high level and giving everything to Liverpool Football Club I believe this is the right decision, and having Champions League football back at Anfield is another big factor in my decision.”
Only Roy Hodgson seemed to take the news hard, although that’s not surprising seeing as he now needs to find another error-prone scapegoat to take the flak for England’s inevitable early-round exit from Euro 2016.
“While I’m disappointed in the decision, I can entirely understand Steven’s situation and can have no complaints given the incredible service he has given to his country,” stuttered Hodgson unconvincingly.

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