That’s right, you heard, Fifty Shades of Grey now exists in fermented grape form. And according to E.L James herself, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. She claims “Wine plays an important role in Fifty Shades of Grey, adding to the sensuality that pervades a number of encounters between the characters.”
This we can relate to, the importance of wine cannot be underestimated. There’s nothing like a bottle of red to help make the leap from just good friends to chaining each other to the ceiling and making mooing noises. Or maybe that was a dodgy bottle.
There are two wines to choose from, a submissive White Silk and a dominant Red Satin. The White Silk has floral aromatics of lychee, honey and pear…tempered by flavours of crisp grapefruit, mineral and lush pear with a faint hint of butterscotch. This is apparently a “delicately playful experience” but play your cards right and it could lead to opposite.
The Red Satin is decadent blend which has flavours of black cherry, cocoa powder, creamy caramel and vanilla, clove spice and leather. Leather? Leather flavours in a wine? We’re all for running with a theme, but those looking for some leather flavour to complement their glass of vino need only follow the Fifty Shades scenarios as after dinner entertainment.
For added sensuality, each bottle comes emblazoned with the tag line, ‘You Are Mine’…which coincidentally is what we’ve always told our bottles of wine. Gone are the days of offering to split a bottle to avoid accusations of alcoholism, this actually spells it out for us. Perfect. Now if someone would just release us from these handcuffs…wine doesn’t open itself.
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