We all love laughing at fat people. It’s why God created Americans.
Just look at popular Yank shit-com Mike and Molly. Okay, so the jokes are cack, but look at the fat Americans! Hilarious!
So what use is a fat man if he loses weight?
Nothing, that’s what. Sure, he may live slightly longer to the delight of his beloved family, but what good is that to the rest of us who don’t know him? To us he’s just a feckless waste of overly flappy skin who we can no longer point and laugh at.
Which is why we’re firmly behind Bradford City’s anti-fatty stance (or should that be pro-porker?).
Basically, the Bantams have told their mascot of 20 years, Lenny Berry, to do one – although the reason why depends on who you ask.
If you ask Lenny, it’s because he’s recently lost seven stone due to diabetes and his City Gent persona – who dons a bowler hat, briefcase and Bradford top – no longer looks like an amusing larger than life comedy character.
Instead he looks more like someone who should be helping police inquiries into Operation Yewtree.
“I used to have supporters chant things at me, like who ate all the pies?” said the scrawny lump. “I used to get them going and then grab my belly. I play the part of the mascot though, through my face and my eyes. I’ve always had a good rapport with fans.”
It’s a tale to melt the stoniest of artery-clogged hearts.
Except for the fact the club tells a different tale. Apparently Bradford claim Lenny’s weight had nothing to do with his sacking, and instead was about his “unsuitable” language and a safety report from last season in which one club said that Berry had been a “pain” and would not be invited back.
“He had been pushing the boundaries,” whined club director Roger Owen. “It was not an issue of weight.”
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