From about July onwards, fresh-off-the-boat British and Irish expats are baffled by AFL and NRL commentators uttering phrases like “he’ll need to improve if he wants to be playing in September” or “we won’t be seeing them in September if they keep playing like that”.
For a long time, BBM thought it was a veiled warning; that rugby league coaches take a sledgehammer to the legs of under-performing players at the end of August, or – worse – make them “disappear” mafia-style. No wonder the players all dope themselves to the tits.
Of course, we eventually came to realise it’s actually a reference to that most-hallowed and patently unfair Australian system of deciding on the best team that year – the finals series – which tradition dictates begins at the start of September.
While football fans, quite rightly, think the team that finishes top of the league (or “ladder” as they insist on calling it over here) should be crowned that season’s best, our Aussie cousins don’t, instead placing greater emphasis on the end-of-season cup competition that technically can lead to the team that finished eighth on the “ladder” being crowned as that year’s greatest club. The Aussies argue this generates more excitement and that the pressure separates the men from the boys.
We’re sure the fact it’s also a massive cash cow for the AFL and NRL has nothing to do with it.
As we write this in mid-August, it’s difficult to predict just what will happen in the finals, but using a sophisticated spreadsheet program that generates likely results and cross-references it with details of things like form and experience, we’ve managed to whittle down the eventual AFL grand final winner to just two teams: the Sydney Swans or a team from Melbourne. Possibly Fremantle as well.
In fact, we’d be willing to bet good money on any of those three. Similarly we’d be willing to bet that the NRL grand final will be won by the Melbourne Storm or a Sydney team. You heard it here first.\
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