We all have our weird sexual fetishes.
Whether it’s S&M, roleplaying or paying prostitutes to viciously slap your naked ass cheeks with a rolled-up copy of BBM while they yell “you wrote this didn’t you? You filthy, filthy boy!”
And apparently the older you get, the freakier you get after it was recently revealed a 70-year-old Aussie bloke had to have an object removed from his body after a sexual gratification game gone wrong.
We know what you’re thinking: that this is one of those stories where the guy shoves a ketchup bottle up his arse or something and ends up down the doctor’s. Well you’d be almost right, but the twist to this tale is it wasn’t a ketchup bottle, it was a four-inch fork. And it wasn’t his arse either. It was his cock.
The unfortunate incident in Adelaide was described in a recent medical journal by three surgeons who operated on the man to remove the kitchen utensil.
They talked about how the pensioner had come to the hospital for help after getting the piece of cutlery stuck when using it to achieve sexual climax.
They eventually managed to retrieve the object after using a large amount of lubrication and forceps, while the man was given a general anaesthetic. We’ll never be able to prick a pork sausage again.
“It is apparent that the human mind is uninhibited let alone creative,” the surgeons wrote in the International Journal of Surgery Case Reports.
“Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies has been existent since time immemorial and have presented an unusual but known presentation to urologists.”
As well as detailing the incident with the fork, the report also talked about other objects that had been retrieved from bodies, including toothbrushes, pencils, light bulbs and a rolled-up copy of BBM.
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