Chinese police have taken a birds-eye view of crime-fighting after hiring flocks of geese to help catch criminals and clean up the streets. We don’t want to sound negative, but from what little BBM knows about geese, they’re more likely to shit all over the streets than clean them up.
“Among all poultry, geese [are known] for being extremely vigilant and having excellent hearing,” said police chief Zhang Quansheng. “Geese are very brave. They spread their wings and will attack any strangers entering [someone’s] home.
“In some ways, they are more useful than dogs; a household normally keeps one dog [but] an intruder can throw a drugged bun to kill the dog.”
We get the impression that chief officer Quansheng might not really have thought this one through – so dogs can be drugged but geese can’t, right? And we’re not entirely sure how much of a deterrent a sign saying “Warning: I live here” accompanied by a picture of a goose would be to a potential intruder. In fact officer Quansheng’s logic is so flawed we suspect someone may have given him a drugged bun before the press conference.
The use of geese is now being ‘actively promoted’ across the region following the success of the trial, but we’re still not convinced at BBM Towers.
On the downside, how long will it take criminals to work out they just have to wait til winter for the feathery boys in blue to fly south?
On the plus side, if a goose is killed on duty, at least police will have something to fill their sandwiches for the next couple of days.
We can see it now, a goose-based reboot of Turner and Hooch. Starring Ryan Gosling.
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