The Hoff cutoutWhile the lasting popularity of David Hasselhoff remains one of the great enigmas of the celebrity age, it seems the public’s love of the walking chest carpet shows no sign of ending.?The 80s-faced Baywatch star is currently hawking iced coffee for Cumberland Farms, who have reported that no less than 550 large cut-outs of the Hoff have been stolen by fans. And when they say fans, we presume they mean Germans and drunk students trying to be ironic.

The giant boards have been taken from outside convenience stores in recent weeks, and now only 20 remain from roughly 570 stores in New England and Florida.?”We want everyone to enjoy The Hoff,” said the company’s brand strategy expert, Kate Ngo. “We’re flattered by the attention.”?Ngo, who clearly can’t spell her own surname correctly, said they had never experienced this amount of theft before, but vowed to carry on sending signs to stores that need them until the campaign ends in August.

Of course the other possibility is the stores are just sick of the sight of his craggy features staring at them all day and are reporting them ‘stolen’ after chucking them in the nearest skip.?Cumberland Farms have asked members of the public to stop hassling the Hoff signs and taking them away.

But if you already have one, Ngo said the company “want to know at least that Hasselhoff is safe and he’s being taken care of.”?Suddenly we just had a vision of a lonely 50-year-old German woman “taking care” of a lifesize cut out of the Hoff. Ugh. Looks like we won’t be eating for the rest of the day.

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