image of stat attackOf all the annoying street performer professions, “living statues” surely have to be the worst. Their entire career consists of literally not doing anything while dressed like a knob.

Well one living statue broke that golden rule in spectacular fashion recently, by beating seven bells of shit out of a rival on the Southbank near the London Eye.

Rumen Nedelchev, covered in metallic paint and clutching a silver branch, was left close to death after Dechko Ivanov, also wearing a silver outfit and crown, battered him with a brick concealed in a bag.

Nedelchev lay unconscious for several hours, by which time he’d earned an extra $200 from passers-by.