We’re not exactly history buffs here at BBM, but everyone knows St Patrick became the patron saint of Ireland after inventing Guinness. It’s common knowledge. But new research suggests he might not have been the tam o’shanter wearing drunken leprechaun he’s so often described as by Jesus in The Bible.
Apparently, St Paddy could well have been a tax collector for the Romans who fled to Ireland after trading slaves to pay his way.
Roy Flechner, from Cambridge Uni, believes there are grounds to question the popular version, which is partly based on Patrick’s own words in his “Confessio”. So the bit where he talks about having a 10-inch cock probably isn’t true either.
“The problem with this account is that he was telling this story in response to accusations leveled against him that he fled to Ireland for financial gain,” Flechner boffined.
“It’s an inference that has been made long before in conventional scholarship.”
At a time when the Roman government in Britain was in decline, collecting and underwriting taxes would have been a pretty shit job. It’s also not particularly great if you want to impress the ladies. Flechner said it was enough to make St Paddy emigrate.
“It is likely that, at least for a while, he (Patrick) held an imperial office. One way or another, I think this would have been the catalyst for him leaving for Ireland.”
Question marks were first raised over St Paddy Power’s account because of the section where he describes his escape from slavery in Ireland.
“Once you escaped from slavery you lacked any legal status and anyone could imprison you and kill you, and this conflicts with what he said – that he broke loose, crossed Ireland and then the Irish Sea to get back to Britain,” he explained.
The bit where St Patrick talks about shagging all of Girls Aloud is also under scrutiny.
