Soccerwho?

THE Australian national team have pulled off a major coup by somehow coaxing world-class coach Holger Osieck to take over as their new manager.
We’re not going to insult you by suggesting that no-one outside Germany has got a frigging clue who the guy is, we’ll simply list some of his amazing achievements in the game.
– Won the 2000 CONCACAF Gold Cup with Canada after progressing from the group stage on a coin toss.
– Secretly masterminded Germany’s Italia 90 World Cup victory as part of Franz Beckenbauer’s backroom staff.
– Won the Asian Champions League with Urawa Red Diamonds in 2007. Unfortunately, he was fired early in the 2008 season after a terrible start which we’re sure wasn’t his fault.
We’re sure Fabio Capello must be shitting himself.
The Aussie press, who had been deluding themselves by throwing names like Frank Rijkaard and Martin O’Neill around, seem to have mixed feelings about the appointment. Most are highly dubious about Holger’s credentials but at least the NRL and AFL marketing men seem happy.