Silly German Sausage Gets CookedI thought this was 2011? Surely there are enough McDonalds dotted about for people so they wont need to EAT SOMEONE ELSE?

A German tourist is suspected dead after what are thought to be human remains were found near a campfire on the Nuku Hiva island in the Pacific Ocean.

Stefan Ramin had stopped on the island (known as belonging to a tribe of accused cannibals) as part of a sailing expedition with his partner Heike Dorsch. They met a guide, who offered to take them on a goat hunt. Wait a second. A goat hunt, on an island with suspected cannibals? You’re asking for it.

The guide returned alone, told Heike there had been an accident, and then went on to tie her to a tree. She managed to escape and raised the alarm, rather than being someone’s mid-afternoon snack.

The tribe suspected of killing and eating Mr Ramin claimed they gave up cannibalism years ago. ‘Gave up’ cannibalism? It’s not like smoking or coffee. It’s eating the flesh of a human being!

Among the findings are thought to be human bones, teeth, a jawbone, and melted metal which could be fillings. Note to self and others: don’t go on a goat hunt in the middle of nowhere on an island with suspected cannibals lurking about.

By Ella Delancey

Twitter: @ellaaadxb