– My mate asked me, “If you could meet any celebrity, alive or dead, who would it be?”
So I thought about it for a while, then replied, “Russell Brand……dead”
– When I heard that Russell Brand is said to be devastated following the collapse of his marriage to Katy Perry amid rumours that she cheated on him, I just knew I had to do something hilariously funny to cheer him up.
I can’t wait until he gets home tonight and listens to his voicemail.
– I’ve lost all respect for Russell Brand after his so-called “prank call”.
Phoning up an elderly man and telling him you’ve fucked his granddaughter is pretty distasteful, but if you’re going to do it properly, at least phone your father-in-law.
– Russell Brand claims he’s constantly mistaken for Jesus.
Let’s nail the cunt to a crucifix & see if he comes back in 3 days.
– Russell brand has been quoted in the sun saying ‘it’s hard being married to Katy perry’
I’m not surprised I’m hard just seeing a picture of her
– The opening ceremony was an exhibition of the things that made Britain ‘great’: The music and the culture.
The closing ceremony showed the ‘one direction’ the nation’s culture has taken and the perfect example of why there’s no more empire:
Russell Brand. Nice to see we embrace the man who took the great out of Britain.