Want to get in Cristiano Ronaldo’s pants? Gareth Bale does. In the most homoerotic twist to the tale of the world’s two most expensive – and slightly effeminate – players, Ronaldo has revealed half the Real Madrid side have been inside his undercrackers. And to top it off, Ronaldo’s also described Wayne Rooney as “beautiful”.

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Unless he dresses up as a 60-year-old slapper, we don’t fancy his chances there. “I gave them [his Real Madrid teammates] all a pair of boxers,” the limp-wristed 28-year-old said of his new range of CR7 underwear. “Bale was there and he said, ‘Yeah, looking good’. He’s such a fantastic boy. Fabio Coentrao also mentioned that he liked them. Pepe actually put them on as soon as I gave them to him.”

Ronaldo’s road to fashion icon has been a colourful one, and the simulation specialist admits he wasn’t always such a style hit. He told Shortlist magazine: “I see pictures of myself when I was 16 or 17 and I say: ‘What did I do?’ When I was in Manchester I had the spaghetti hair – long with yellow tips. What was I doing?

“And when quizzed over granny-shagger Rooney’s new locks, Ronaldo showed his bitchy side with a cutting backhanded compliment. “[Wayne Rooney] has his own style,” he reflected. “But with his hair he looks much better. He looks very good now. Before he was a little bit ugly, but now, with hair, he’s beautiful.” While it’s great Ronaldo’s finally come out of the closet, sadly he’s still struggling to get out of Messi’s shadow.

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