Buck-toothed Ballon d’or-botherer Ronaldinho has moved to quell rumours he’s been partying too much in Brazil by releasing a rap single with a bloke called Dennis DJ about how he likes to drink a lot at parties.
As anyone with a passing familiarity of the hit parade knows, the road from football legend to pop icon is hardly a well-trodden path. Many footballers have tried, but unless they’ve got the bloke from the Lightning Seeds to help with the tune, their dreams usually end up deflated and battered like an old leather football that’s been left in the back garden over winter – although, admittedly, the leather-skinned look hasn’t stopped Madonna from straddling the pop world like a flabby-armed prostitute.
But the main problem facing Ronaldinho isn’t the fact that he can’t rap for all the rum in Rio, it’s that he’s already in trouble with his club – Atletico Mineiro – for not taking his football seriously, and could end up getting fired.
Just last month Atletico fined him for being late to training after what they described as “personal excess” (the mind boggles) at the Salvador carnival. The Samba star is reported to have left the festival with a large-breasted brunette beauty on his arm. Even David Beckham could put two and two together after that.
But maybe we’re being too harsh. Maybe rapping Ron reveals a deeper side to himself through his rhymes.
Let’s take a look: “Boot the glass up high, let’s drink/ We will enjoy life, we drink/ I’m full of money, let’s drink.”
Obviously it’s not a patch on the Anfield Rap by John Barnes, but it does sound better than Diamond Lights by Hoddle and Waddle.
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