Red Card Causes a Stink

An ill-wind blew for Swedish club Järna SK in their game against Pershagen SK last month when the referee sent off one of their players for farting during the match.
Bemused Adam Lindin Ljungkvist, who was playing at left-back, was accused of of “deliberate provocation” and “unsportsmanlike behaviour” for his flatulent offence.
“I had a bad stomach, so I simply let go,” said Ljungkvist. “Then I received two yellow cards and then red. Yes, I was shocked, it’s the strangest thing I have ever experienced in football … maybe he thought I farted in my hand and threw the fart at him. But I did not.”
Opposition striker Kristoffer Linde heard the controversial guff a mile off.
“I was standing a good distance away but I heard the fart loud and clear,” he said, while still holding his nose several hours later. “It’s the strangest thing I’ve seen on a pitch, and I’ve been playing football since I was eight years old.”
The referee, Dany Kako, confirmed that Ljungkvist had received a second yellow card for breaking wind, explaining: “I perceived it as deliberate provocation. He did it on purpose and it was inappropriate. Therefore, he received a yellow card.”
Ljungkvist wasn’t having it though. “To provoke anyone with a fart is not particularly smart or normal,” he said while wafting a lit match around his anus.
“It’s nonsense – I just broke wind and got a red card. I spoke to the referee afterwards, I was annoyed, but there were no bad words. I just said he was a buffoon.”
Kako said he had experienced similar incidents before. “Once there was a player who stood and peed next to the pitch. I showed him a yellow card, too.”
So there you go folks, it’s against the rules to perform bodily functions while you’re competing. It’s a good job he doesn’t officiate marathons or Paula Radcliffe would be screwed.