When it comes to translating the phonetic dialect of Brazilian-Portuguese into English and dealing with the language’s complicated lexicon, only one man springs to mind as perfect for the task– Sky Sports pundit Chris Kamara.
After using phrases like “he couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo” and “fighting like beavers”, the former Bradford City manager already speaks like Google Translate went wrong, so he should have no trouble in his new role after being hired by British Airways to broadcast a video guide to Brazilian-Portuguese on all its long-haul flights to South America throughout the summer.
The clip includes his advice on how to say useful phrases such as offside (impedimento), cold beer (uma cerveja bem gelada) and gooooalllll! (gooooollllllllll).
It also has tips on how to ask for a half-time pie (torta, por favor), and his infamous catchphrase, “Unbelieeeeevable, Jeff” (Inacreeeeditável, Zé).
“It was great to have personal tuition to learn the essentials,” Kamara said almost fluently in English. “I hope viewers will find the video informative, if not entertaining.”
Frankly, we think he could come up with a few more useful translations for the streets of Brazil – like “no cocaine for me thank you” or “take my wallet, but please leave my wife and kids alone”.
The five-minute clip can be found on the airline’s in-flight ‘video on demand’ library in the sports category. You can also see a preview on YouTube.
It’s understood the United Nations have already inquired about the possibility of using Kamara’s unique linguistic skills to help negotiate a peace deal with al-Qaeda insurgents in Nigeria, who are presenter-turned-warlord Jeff Stelling.
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