this weeks jokesWhat’s green, smelly and oozes out of a man’s penis?
I don’t know but I hope it’s not life threatening.   
Jimmy, Edgecliff

I said to my mate: “I just watched that film about the Nazi leader.”
He said: “Oh what, the one with Adolf in?”
I said: “No mate, you’re thinking of Flipper.”
Timothy, Perth

I’m A big smoker and asked my grandmother for “something Cuban” for my birthday. She got me a Che Guevara t-shirt.
Clothes, but no cigar.
Jack, Bondi

Dear Sir/Madam,
Your transgender operation was a partial success.
Peter, Coogee

I reckon grannies give the best blowjobs.
All that experience AND they can take their teeth out.
My wife hates me mentioning it though, she thinks I’m disgusting and should concentrate on scoring goals for Man United.  
W. Rooney, Manchester

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street juggler. The juggler notices they have a poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
John, Croydon

“Wolfgang Mozart!” shouted a friend of the legendary composer.
“What?” said Mozart.
And then they were both eaten by a gang of wolves.  
Roger, Randwick

On a recent trip to Alton Towers, I went on the scariest ride of my life.
The coach driver was a woman.  
Jimbo, Cairns

So 1p has been cut from petrol back in the UK. I don’t think ‘etrol’ has the same ring to it.
Thomas, Brisbane