this weeks jokes

JUSTIN Bieber’s film has made more money than Michael Jackson’s This Is It at the box office.
That’s what he would’ve wanted, a young boy on top of him. Charlie, Brisbane


MY wife shouted upstairs, “The sun’s just come out.”I thought, “great!” I threw on some shorts, flip flops and ran down the stairs.
I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Steve. Travis, Surfers Paradise


I was ice-skating today, just minding my own business, when I noticed some big fat bird…Eventually, she came over. “I’m not very good at breaking the ice.” She laughed.
“Have you tried jumping?” I asked. Stefan, Redfern


I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill.
People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead. Lauren, Adelaide


I’M pretty sure that’s the last time the charity people will leave me a bag saying, “Fill with love.” Tom, Cairns


MY wife started complaining about a fly buzzing around the room, but a few smacks solved that problem.
The fly started to get annoying though… Jason, Richmond


I told my mate that, in order to get laid, I’d promised my girlfriend that I’d marry her in the winter.He said, “July?”
I said, “Of course I did.” Wayne, Perth


I told the wife, “Why do you watch the cooking channel?You still can’t cook.”
She replied, “Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck.” Bobby, Woolhara