Jamie Oliver slams ministers ‘war on obesity’

A new ‘call to action on obesity in England’ document has been published leaving TV chef Jamie Oliver all red in his chubby lil face.
“Just worthless, regurgitated, patronising rubbish” blasted Oliver, after Health Secretary Andrew Lansley announced some of the in his shit ideas as a “national ambition”. The main aim is to get the entire nation to each abandon 100 calories from our daily diet. The collective equivalent of 17 million cheeseburgers… yum!
Although stats show we really are a nation of greedy bastards, with 60% of us overweight or obese and the same for 1/3rd of our chunky children, the celeb chef has a point. “Education is the key. We need to give people the knowledge to make better choices”. But clearly school kids just don’t want to hear it from poor Mr Oliver.
Lansley also pledged to put a “fat tax” on fatty foods! Trust ministers to come up with the simple fix of making something more expensive, ey.
He also aims to force local councils to get us doing more exercise. How about making gym memberships a little cheaper than their million pound a month fees? Or, just move McDonalds further away from council estates.
Well, anyway, were off to lunch. KFC anyone?
By Rachel Trickett