FERRARI FURORE

FORMULA ONE: We all know Italians love the ladies – and nothing impresses a woman more than a big shiny car. Any man with a small penis will tell you as much.
So it’s perhaps understandable why the Italians love Formula One so much. In fact, they’re so obsessed by the “sport” (cough) that the failure of Ferrari’s Fernando Alonso to win the 2010 world championship was discussed by politicians in Rome.
Inevitably, heads had to roll – and so Pat Fry has replaced Chris Dyer as head of race track engineering at Ferrari this week.
The hoo-ha erupted when Alonso finished seventh in the final race in Abu Dhabi after apparently taking some bad advice on an early pit stop move – which backfired to allow eventual championship winner Sebastian Vettel to take the honours.
“The mistake was of a very great magnitude,” said Ferrari team chief Stefano Domenicali, who admitted he’d considered his own position after the race.
“It produced devastating effects. In a normal race it would have been a normal mistake. We need to avoid throwing everything into the sea, even the good things, just because of this mistake. But we will be making changes and we’ll announce them very soon.
“We will put whoever has to take delicate decisions in a position to have all the tools not to make mistakes again.”
Domenicali then stabbed himself through the chest with a ceremonial sword.