WHEN it comes to meeting celebrities and footballers, most of us common folk are hypocrites.
So while you might call Ashley Cole a useless money-grabbing twat who needs a punch in the back of the head whenever you see him in an England shirt, if you suddenly found yourself stood behind him in the queue at Coles, you’d probably just grin a lot, text your mates and then spend the next few minutes wondering whether to ask for a photo with him.
Of course, when your mates then ask you what you said to him, the story has to change. Suddenly, you were telling Ashley what England are doing wrong, why they’re letting a nation down and, as a parting shot, does he have Cheryl’s number now she’s single? Huzzah! Get that man a beer.
We suspect something similar happened in South Africa this week to the bloke who broke into the England dressing room after the 1-1 draw with Algeria.
Initially, for example, the papers went into speculation overdrive, painting the fan as champion of the masses who risked injury and arrest to remonstrate with England’s overpaid prima donnas. Then it turned out he was just looking for the toilet and got lost.
“He didn’t comment on the performance, he literally walked in and said hello,” said David Beckham. “There was no scuffle, there was no aggression at all. Obviously it’s been blown out of all proportion as well.”
Well a few day’s later, at the prompting of The Sun, the errant fan, Pavlos Joseph, has decided to come up with a new version of what happened. Although he doesn’t dispute he was looking for the toilet.
“I looked David (Goldenballs) straight in the eye and said, ‘David, we’ve spent a lot of money getting here. This is a disgrace. What are you going to do about it?’,” said the weak-bladdered supporter. “I told them, ‘That was woeful and not good enough’. The room was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. The players’ chins were on their chests – they looked pretty ashamed.”
Course you did Pavlos. Course you did.