FA Cup Offers Food For Thought

Forget performance-enhancing drugs or steroids, if you really want the secret to taking your sporting skills to the next level, chomp down on a meat pie. Or maybe Nandos.
That seems to be the artery-clogging lesson we’ve learned from watching Lincoln City and Sutton United’s remarkable runs in this year’s FA Cup.
United’s reserve goalkeeper Wayne Shaw had already wobbled his way into the headlines before the club’s 2-0 defeat to Arsenal, purely for the fact he was 20 stones of pure lard.
And although the part-timers failed to dish out some humble pie to Arsene Wenger’s team of superstars, that didn’t stop Shaw digging into a bit of pastry and mince during the game as he watched from the bench.
The shot of the fat bastard tucking into his meat treat went viral, but alas it seems to have cost him his job as apparently there was a betting company offering odds of 8-1 against him eating a pie during the match – which he knew about.
“A few of the lads said to me earlier on: ‘What is going on with the 8-1 about eating a pie?’ I said: ‘I don’t know, I’ve eaten nothing all day, so I might give it a go later on,’” he said. “Sun Bets had us at 8-1 to eat a pie. I thought I would give them a bit of banter and let’s do it. All the subs were on and we were 2-0 down.
“I went and got it at half time from the kitchen, I had it all prepared and ready to go.”
Asked if he knew anyone had backed the bet, he replied: “I think there were a few people. Obviously we are not allowed to bet. I think a few of the mates and a few of the fans. It was just a bit of banter for them. It is something to make the occasion as well and you can look back and say it was part of it and we got our ticket money back.”
He has subsequently resigned after being threatened with sanctions by the FA.
Meanwhile, Lincoln hero Sean Raggett celebrated his history-making FA Cup winner against Burnley by “eating like a king” at Nando’s. Sounds like an oxymoron to us but who are we to argue.
“As soon as the team bus got us back into Lincoln, we went straight to Nando’s. I was so hungry,” he said while sucking grease off his fingers. “I had four chicken thighs, five wings, chips, garlic bread and a red pepper dip. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much food. I ate like a king.”
At that rate, he should be about the same size as Shaw by the time the quarter-finals come around.