SUNDERLAND’S top stay-away dad Keith Macdonald took poor parenting up a notch this week – by faking his own death after learning kid number nine was on the way.
Jobless scummer Keith is believed to have fathered at least eight other kids from the area (all future Nobel prize winners no doubt) but his latest success at slipping one past the goalkeeper proved one too many.
On learning the joyous news, the 25-year-old texted mum-to-be Clare Bryant pretending to be his flatmate. “Keith is dead” the message said simply. Naturally she made a string of calls to police and hospitals, before messaging his family on Facebook. She got some replies from his sister confirming his death – but when Clare pressed for answers, the sister turned a bit random and eventually accused her of driving Keith to suicide with her constant harassment.
Two weeks later, Clare saw him alive and well on the streets of Houghton-Le-Spring.
“I went through hell. What sort of sick person pretends to have died?” said Clare. It’s a good question Clare. As is, what sort of person would have unprotected sex with someone like that?
When The Sun caught up with Keith to question him about his nine children, he confounded them with his expert medical knowledge. He said only one kid was definitely his “because they all have different coloured hair”. Genius.