To get you in the holiday spirit, here are our favourite Christmas jokes for 2015.
I wanted my stepdaughter to play with the rabbit I bought her for Christmas, but her mother said that sex toys weren’t an appropriate gift for an eight-year-old.
Hank, Sydney
I always get my in-laws petrol-soaked fake moustaches for Christmas. It’s such a joy to watch their faces light up!
Rob, Mandurah
The first present I opened on Christmas Day was a penknife. I was so excited, I used it to open all my other presents. Shame about the puppy.
Greg, South Perth
On the twelfth day of Christmas Charlie Sheen gave to me, HIV!
Danielle, Newcastle
I don’t like office Christmas parties. I’m always looking for a job the next day.
Will, Geelong
Just a reminder that in these tough economic time, instead of spending $5 on a Christmas card, you could just give me $5.
Sheila, Darwin
I hate my Scottish grandfather: for Christmas he was supposed to get me a Wii U, but instead he got me a miniature sheep.
Dave, Manchester
“There’s a guy in my street who’s got his Christmas decorations up already,” my mate said.
I replied, “That’s nothing. The old lady next door to me hasn’t taken hers down for two years.”
Adam, St Kilda
I’m working on hotel reception and it’s feeling all Christmassy. I just told a heavily pregnant bird that we’re full.
Clark, Wollongong