Forget bunkers and water hazards, golf turned its danger level up from “tweed trousers” to “soiled jeans” at last month’s Australian PGA championship after organisers released an eight-metre tall T-Rex onto the course.
Golf being a game of tradition, you’d think the sport’s lawmakers would have yelled ‘yabba dabba doo!’ at the prospect of playing on a course identical to that which our caveman ancestors would have competed on way back in 200BC when dinosaurs roamed the land.
Sadly not though, instead they thought the mechanical T-Rex was a blatant attempt to cash in on advertising and threatened to move next year’s event to a different location. The dinosaur was also criticised by Japanese players, many of whom are still scarred by the Godzilla attacks on Tokyo during the 60s and 70s.
But the majority of golfers didn’t seem to mind. In fact, veteran linksman Peter Senior came out with one of the quotes of the year when asked what he thought about the kerfuffle, saying: “It doesn’t worry me as long as it doesn’t crap everywhere.” You stay classy Peter.
The robotic giant lizard dominated the skyline around the ninth and tenth holes – part of owner Clive Palmer’s plans to eventually turn the Palmer Coolum resort into a theme park.
The replica T-Rex usually flips his tail and emits a loud roar when he senses someone coming (a bit like Tiger Woods when he’s shagging a hooker). However, the competition’s professionals were spared any frights as the dinosaur – nicknamed ‘Jeff’ – was unplugged for the duration of the event.
“It’s different, that’s for sure (to be sure),” said Northern Irish pro Darren Clarke. “But it’s fine, sponsors give us a lot and in this day and age you accept that it is what it is.”
Which, funnily, enough is what hookers think when they’re being shagged by Tiger Woods.
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