You know those blokes who work so hard on their careers that when they retire, they’ve got nothing to live for, quickly lose their memory, go senile and die. Tragically, it seems that’s what’s happening to poor old Matthew Hayden.
The dementia-ridden former Aussie opener has called England’s brave James Anderson a “B-Grade bowler who got his arse-whipped by Australia that many times it’s not even funny”. Yet recent history shows that Australia haven’t beaten England in Test cricket for some time, with Anderson one of the chief terrorisers of the Aussie bunnies. It’s sad when you see great players reduced to ramblings like this. If only the ICC would legalise euthanasia. Can’t they see it’s the kindest thing to do?
Hayden was apparently responding to a claim in Anderson’s autobiography that he attacked an “arrogant” Michael Clarke with a batsman’s pad during the 2006/07 Ashes series at the urging of Damien Martyn.
“So I picked this pad up and cuffed Clarke with it, making the biggest thud imaginable in the process,” recalled Anderson, incensed by the current Australian captain’s “whistling away to himself” dressing room manner.
Anderson also wrote how Martyn then went on to clash with Hayden later that evening, before surprisingly announcing his retirement two days later.
“This has been a big incident, hasn’t it,” Hayden said. “In reality, James Anderson was a B-grade bowler who got his arse-whipped by Australia that many times it’s not even funny “Frankly I don’t care what he has to say but at least he has improved his bowling, thank goodness.”
He then proceeded to wee himself before making some racist statements about the Japanese during the war.
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